Silver Sparkles Playbook

I was feeling lazy this morning. I sat with my coffee and my temperamental iPad, scrolling through instagram and Facebook, catching up with my friends and family, and the groups I am active in.  One of the posts wedged itself in my thoughts and stuck there, so I went back to re-read it.  A woman said she told her hairstylist that she no longer wanted to dye her hair.  She wanted to grow out her natural silvery color, and her stylist said, "So you've given up the fight?" It took me awhile to figure out why this struck me.  Now, I don't think everyone should go naturally gray anymore than I think everyone should dye their hair.  Women should do what makes them feel awesome about themselves.  Everyone should present themselves in whatever way feels most true to themselves.  I finally realized that what didn't feel right to me was the word "fight". The word "fight" is used a lot when describing how women should age.  We are supposed to fight ...

Things I've Learned in 50 Years 1.  You never feel your age.  I still feel the same as I did at 15 or 30.  I don't feel 50.  I just feel like me. 2.  Nobody cares how messy your house is.  They just want to sit and drink coffee and talk.  Don't  not invite someone over because it isn't clean enough. 3.  That said, I enjoy coming home to a clutter-free home.  It feels welcoming and restful at the end of the day.  I've learned to spend a few minutes before bed or before work straightening up so I can come home to a peaceful environment. 4.   It's hard to find clothes I love at this age.  I don't want to look like my daughter and I don't want to look like my mother, although they are both lovely.  I think my style could creatively be described as "Michelle Obama Goes Hiking."  I rely on lots of cardigans, ballet flats and slim jeans, with some Patagonia and Chacos thrown in.  I would like to be more stylis...

Summer is over.  My husband is back in his fifth grade classroom, my daughter is in grad school and my youngest- the baby!- is a senior in high school.  The return of the school year, along with the increasingly chilly nights, is a sure sign that fall is peeking around the corner.  I've mentioned in a previous post that my husband is eligible for an early retirement incentive in two years.  That is somewhat earlier than we were planning on his retirement, but the opportunity is too good to pass up.  We have committed to spending these two years paying off all our debt, except for the house, which will be paid off in a few short years. One of the reasons this somewhat unexpected retirement is even possible for us to consider is that we never moved out of our "starter home".  When we were looking to buy a house in 1994, we had a small baby, my husband was at the bottom of the pay scale, and our only requirement was that it be the cheapest house in town. ...

So, within the last week, three people have asked me when I was going to write a blog post again.  They all said they had enjoyed reading it, which left me a little speechless and taken aback.  I wasn't thinking that anyone beyond my family and few close friends had even read what I had written, much less wanted more, but I've been meaning to get back to it.  So here I am. I did a bad thing the other day.  I saw a click bait article as I was scrolling through Facebook with my morning coffee.  It was titled, "20 Celebrities Who Have Aged Badly."  Or something like that. You've probably seen it and, being a better person than I am, kept scrolling by.  I would like to say I didn't click, but you know I did.  Maybe I was just curious.  Maybe I thought a little schadenfreude would get my day off to a good start.  Whatever.  Anyway, I'm not sure what I was hoping to see, but there were mostly just pictures of old people looking, wait ...

I just got back from a walk.  My first walk this year that hasn't involved gloves, a hat, and a down jacket. I am lucky enough to live four blocks from Lake Michigan, and as I headed down the sidewalk, I could feel the cold breeze from the lake I couldn't yet see.  My feet carried me along a route I could do with my eyes closed.  West towards the football stadium, then down the hill where the lake awaited.   It's been a long, cold, seemingly interminable winter and the bay is still frozen over.  The ice fishing shacks have been pulled off the lake, but the only water visible is at the very edges of the shore.  This fact only barely registered with me, though, as I was wrapped up in my own thoughts.  Our minds are busy places.  At least mine is.  In the twenty minutes it took me to reach the lake I thought about, in no particular order, whether I should have worn a heavier jacket, my daughter's impending college graduation, the water ...

As a parent, I have made a career out of giving advice.  Get good grades.  Don't forget to floss.  Drive carefully.  As a society, we encourage young adults to stay in school, get a good job, be safe.  Always, always be safe.  And these are all good things.  But I would like to propose that we should not forget to tell them to sometimes do something crazy.  Take a risk.  Follow your heart occasionally.  Make sure to seek a little adventure.  I would also like to propose that we look in the mirror and tell our middle aged selves the same thing. I don't think anyone who knows me would describe me as adventurous.  I live a quiet life.  In 1993, I lost my job.  I wasn't fired, but the Congressman I worked for decided to retire and not run in the next election.  I had worked for good grades in college, did an internship with his office and was hired shortly after graduation. I did the right thing, the expected thin...